Sunday, November 12, 2006

taking offense

on friday, i was so excited to be headed out to pigeon lake to teach some classes and spend the weekend out at the love2scrap retreat. i had a couple things to do before i could head out. to make a very long story short, while at Staples, our local office supply store, the girl i was dealing with was extremely rude and not helpful to me, and said some nasty things to me, too!! so i leave, feeling sick to my stomach and hurt ( i am WAAAAY too sensitive) and drive over to walmart to pick up my girlfriend who was running in for a couple of things. while i was there i had another woman start yelling and swearing at me!! ack!! i went back outside and tried to keep it together when i really just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. by the time my friend came out, though... i almost did start bawling! i was shaky and upset, and my adrenaline was still pumping. i tried to think... who knows what kind of a day they're having... or what's going on in their life... i could only guess what would cause two ladies in five minutes to feel comfortable enough with me to share their joy with me:) then once i was at the retreat, someone said something to me that was very hurtful, i don't even think she was aware of it or perhaps wouldn't even have thought it hurtful, just that to me it was. then i remembered a talk that i'd heard at general conference (at my church) i'm not trying to preach here, i just wanted to share what to me is a powerful truth, and a message that ultimately lifted my spirits.

"When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
In the grand division of all of God's creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see
2 Nephi 2:13–14). As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation. " -david a. bednar

anyways, i am grateful for the truth in this message, and glad i was able to learn from it. i had never ever thought of it this way before, but it's true. now to fully implement it into my life...

signing off and jumping off my soapbox

:D have a great day

janna Posted by Picasa


Vee said...

so sorry you had awful encouters with some people but I am glad you were able to rise above it
:) :) you are so sweet!!

D@nielle said...

I can imagine that being an awfull day, and that you stayed reasonable calm, too bad you never know why people are so rude....their days must really s..... I believe in treating others as you wished to be treated, unfortunately not everyone does that.

eLiZaBeTh said...

What a bad day.. but I like what you wrote at the end.. that we choose to be offended and hurt.. its our choice.. and I think there is alot of truth in that.. I think its hard to remember that in the situation.. I dont know why people have to be so rude.. other than they are very self absorbed..

Renee said...

you did look like you were about to cry. so glad we spent the weekend together. had a great time with you! great write up also!

Renee said...

It was great chatting this weekend with you can tell you are a very caring individual....especially after what a nice thing you did for Renee#1. By the way I posted your Joy letters on L2S....I'm presently working on my second set!!!

Ki Kruk said...

You had a woman yelling and swearing at you in WalMart? Oh my word! I truly wouldn't know what to do and likely would have reacted the same way you did. The audacity of some people is just amazing. Just remember you are the better person and would never treat another that way!

Keep that bright and beautiful smile on your face!